See, I have these GREAT parents. Wonderful. They somehow balanced pushing me to do my best without putting too much pressure on me, and it worked. Growing up, I was just...good at stuff. Academically, I mean. Athletically, I was a bit of a disaster--but we'll save that for another post.
They never really had to put pressure on me, because I put plenty of pressure on myself. I wanted to be good. I was okay with not being the best....I mean, there were a few people who were just better at me than just about everything, and I could deal with that. I just wanted to be up there in the same circle as them, you know? And for the most part, I was.
When I wanted something, I got it.
If I set a goal, I achieved it.
The only reason I couldn't do something would be lack of trying. If I put my mind to it, it would HAPPEN.
So my whole life, I wanted to be a writer. I took boring jobs that would help me write. I even published a few nonfiction articles in a journal you've probably never heard of. I wrote one book, which was crap. So I wrote another, which wasn't. Found an editor to take a look at it. Edited. Completely re-wrote. Sent out to beta readers. Made more edits. And finally (FINALLY) felt like it was ready to query.
I've been seriously querying for about 3 months. I don't query in large groups...I haven't really sent out many queries at all...but still.
It's just so dang HARD to be told "No" so many times. If I didn't truly believe in my book, maybe the disappointment wouldn't be so crushing.And I blame my parents- they should've told me "No" more often. I should be more used to this.
See? I'm just, in general, too lucky. And I think it's coming back to bite me in the rear. ;-)
But thanks to my fabulous parents- I'm almost ridiculously optimistic. There's no reason to be, really. Do you have any idea how many books are being queried at any given time? Well, I don't either, but I do know that one of the agents who currently has my full received nearly 2,500 queries from July to December of last year. And that's just one agent. Some agents report receiving anywhere from 50-100 queries PER DAY, sometimes more.
So the odds, to say the least, are stacked against me. But I'm still trying, because of my silly optimism, and my unwillingness to believe that it won't happen. Maybe it won't happen for this book (which would be a tragedy, because you guys NEED to know these characters), but it will happen.
It has to.