The CP Contract

My critique partners and I constantly refer to the CP contract involved when agreeing to be critique partners....but I don't think it's actually written down anywhere. To resolve any future issues that may arise, I'm typing it up RIGHT HERE RIGHT NOW.

Critique Partner Contract

Henceforth and whereby and thereto....

(I'm kidding.)

Critique Partners will abide by THE CODE:

1. No self-deprecation. You rock. Own it. I'm all for being a raging egomaniac. 
1. But if you do have a complete ego breakdown, you will email me and I will attack you with compliments and convince you that you and your writing do not, indeed, suck.
2. If I have to, I'll write a blog post to talk about how much I like your writing and make you shut up about your stupid problems. (*cough* Thank you, Jenny *cough*)
2. Honest critiques only. Don't worry about egos. (Again, egomaniac.)
1. If there ARE any hurt feelings, please refer to 1.1 and 1.2 of THE CODE.
2. And maybe watch this vlog. 
3. When there is any type of exciting development (i.e. "the call") available CPs will rally on Twitter and tweet the most awesomely hilarious .gifs in existence. (Please refer to the .gifs in this post or this one for reference.)
4. Regarding manuscripts....
1. CPs will laugh at all jokes.
2. CPs will send kissing scenes as SOON as they're written.
3. CPs will write private jokes into their manuscripts.
4. CPs will make appropriately gushy comments about the hotness of any/all your main characters.
5. CPs will pull out their bullshit meters to assess plot holes.
6. If you're being obviously lazy (i.e. avoiding killing off an MC even though it's totally obvious that you need to *cough* Thanks Gina D. *cough*), CPs will CALL YOU ON IT.
5. In general conversation, CPs will often...
1. refer to jokes found in other CP manuscripts.
2. declare their love for other CPs' main characters. (i.e., "DAAAAAVIIIIIIID" of Gina C.'s Last Year's Mistake)
6. CPs will hang on to your manuscripts for safe-keeping when you're travelling.
7. CPs will check your email for you when you are querying if you just can't deal.
8. CPs will NEVER...
1. say things like, "I love querying." Unless you're Marieke.
2. allow you to give up too easily.
3. allow you to say you suck. (refer to #1.)
9. CPs will always be available for phone calls regarding plotting, querying, screaming, and squeeing,... and any other possible thing that needs to be discussed.
10. CPs will always respect the time and attention of other CPs.
11. CPs will appreciate each other's different tastes/backgrounds/strengths.
12. CPs will recognize and appreciate their OWN tastes/backgrounds/strengths.

Basically my CPs are amazing and abide by the code of AWESOME.